Este fin termine de leer The Bitter Is the New Black, escrito por una chava bloggera de Chicago: www.jennsylvania.com. Y entre altas dosis de sarcasmo y egocentrismo (o sea toda mi onda), aparecieron unos párrafos que describen perfecto mi posición acerca del matrimonio y los compromisos a largo plazo. Me encantó la forma en la que está escrito y por eso lo pongo en mi blog, por que es de esas cosas que una piensa: “lo pude haber escrito yo” jajaja y eso me da el derecho de postearlo en mi blog.
“Ah, the old if-ain’t-broke-should-I-still-try-to-fix-it question… I know it well. First off, I don’t agree with your mom. The milk-for-free stuff was relevant to her generation, but no longer to ours, considering gratis milk abounds. One simply needs to go to a bar around closing time-it’s a veritable dairy aisle out there.
I also don’t agree with the experts who say you shouldn’t live together first. Their theory is that this is less of a commitment, and copules that live together are more likely to break up. Um, yes, and I think that’s a good thing. Better to have one skirmish over who gets the toaster upon move-out then to fight the custody of your children every weekend for the next fourteen years.
As I’m a fan on interpreting Judeo-Christian ethics to my own benefit, I think it’s a much bigger “sin” to marry and divorce on a whim than to just give it a trial run by cohabitating. (I made this determination while living with my own boyfriend for almost seven years, BTW.) More copules divorve over non-dramatic issues like money and communication, rather than affairs and abuse. Living together is an excellent proving ground where you can work this stuff out without worrying about having to return everyone’s wedding presents if you can’t.
I’m slightly concerned about your age (25) and your need for more commitment. If you are presently worried about your boyfriend’s level of involvement, then marriage isn’t going to give you any guarantees. Conversely, please don’t let the fact that he hasn’t asked you yet cast aspersions on the depth of his feelings for you. Maybe he’s waiting to be more established in his career, or perhaps he’s not financially ready to make the commitment. Althought it’s not the answer you want to hear, my best advice is to give this more time.
Does this mean that I sat by patienly for seven years, waiting for my boyfriend to pop the question after proving that we were compatible? No. I badgered him relentlessly for the first few years. You see, I desperately wanted a bid Michigan Avenue wedding with the Vera Wang dress and the Tiffany princess-cut rock and your choice of prime rib or lobster tails. And I wanted it all to apeen before I was 30, as that seemed like the old maid cut off date. When we got married last year, we chose a simple ceremony in Vegas.
Turns out that the big production stopped being important to me; just being married was enough. What’s interesting is that after living together for so long, nothing seems that different now, except the addition of rings and a license to harass single people.
Bottom line? It’s far better to let the commitment apeen naturally than to force it simply because someone else says you should. If you’re truly compatible, then when the time is right, everything will fall into place.”